Our good friends at the Censor Everything We Take Issue With Council who go by the more euphemistic moniker the Parents Television Council are at it again, popping an aneurysm over last week's season-five premiere of Nip/Tuck, which airs Tuesdays at 10 p.m. on FX. In words more histrionic than usual, the Group Whose Panties Are Perpetually In A Twist declared: ''News Corp., the FX Network and the producers of Nip/Tuck have made it clear that they intend to serve the most profane, the most sexually explicit, and the most violent content ever seen on advertiser-supported basic cable television; and this season's premiere is a prime example.''

Cool! Oh, wait, they mean it as a bad thing.

The PTC really hates FX because FX has the temerity to treat viewers like mature, sophisticated adults.

Anyway, PTC is recommending a new way of getting cable TV, through an a la carte process that would allow viewers to pick the cable networks they want in their homes. And actually, that's a sane suggestion that has been brought up by other organizations in the past.

But it does have its problems. Do you think your cable or satellite company will go through all the heavy lifting to personalize every household's cable package for free, out of the kindness of their hearts? In a word: No. So your cable bill will rise even higher, and for fewer channels.

Also, and don't tell the PTC this, but while the a la carte approach wouldn't hurt their avowed nemesis FX, one of the most popular cable networks, it would absolutely kill many smaller cable channels, including, for example, those religious networks that the PTC would prefer be the only thing on TV.

Really, you know, when on that one glorious day that the PTC discovers the buttons on their TV remotes that change channels and/or turn their TVs off so they don't have to subject their eyeballs to the searing images promulgated by that dastardly FX, they will be so happy.